


Doll Face

by luckystars1015



Series: Smutty GinHiji Oneshots [8]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Big Dick Gintoki, Bottom! Hijikata, Dubious Consent, M/M, Masturbation, Oblivious Hijikata, Oral Sex, Pining, Porn Without Plot, Read Beginning Notes for Full Summary, Smut, Top! Gintoki, major size difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:20:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27106354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckystars1015/pseuds/luckystars1015
Summary: Hijikata is shot with a ray gun, turning him as small as a mouse. Through the cruel trick of the gods, he is found by Gintoki, who mistakes him for an action figure.What exactly does the dastardly Gintoki have in store for Hijikata?
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Series: Smutty GinHiji Oneshots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2045218
Comments: 16
Kudos: 139





	Doll Face

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This fic contains dubious consent. Gintoki mistakes Hijikata as an action figure, using him to masturbate. He rubs the ‘doll’ against his dick and licks him all over when finished. Hijikata pretends to be a doll the whole time because he keeps missing his chance to reveal himself.

  
Hijikata Toushiro was fucked—more fucked than having no clean underwear to go to work in, but less fucked than being in the middle of two rampaging rhinos. 

It was a normal day in Kabukicho. Hijikata was cursing like innocent children didn’t have ears as he chased after two Amanto fugitives smuggling banned goods down a busy intersection on foot. He cornered them in a desolate like the esteemed Vice Chief that he was and told them to drop their merchandise. Being criminals, they did the exact opposite and started digging through their assortment of ray guns. One would frantically dig through the box and throw to the other what looked like a discontinued prop from the Star Wars franchise. The other alien was no marksman and shot like he was half-blind, aiming everywhere but at Hijikata. The swordsman smirked. He’d have these two in handcuffs in a jiffy.

Hijikata ducked and ran up the side of the wall, planning to take down these two noobs from the sky when, suddenly, one of the rays he’d dodged bounced off a broken mirror in the trash pile and hit him from behind. At first, he hadn’t felt anything, but suddenly the two criminals grew larger and larger. Had the rays hit those two instead?

When Hijikata landed on the dirty ground below, looking up at the smirks of these vile criminals standing between walls that now looked more like a skyscraper, the Vice Chief poignantly surmised that he was in deep shit. Hijikata was the one who was smaller than a street mouse. 

The criminal closest to him immediately tried to squash him like a bug as Hijikata yelled profanity in kind. The curses and threats were much less scathing with his tiny size. The other Amanto yelled at the other to cease the teasing at once, since the ship they needed to board was about to depart at noon. 

So Hijikata was left to chase them down the alleyway. The meters that separated the cop and robbers now turned into kilometers and Hijikata was left lost and exhausted by the time reached the street. His hands were on his knees, trying to catch a breath and gather any sort of clues to where they might have gone off to, but even he knew this was hopeless. He decided to call in backup. Hopefully, he would still have a signal with his phone being this tiny. But the two criminals would have to take a back seat to the problem that just reared its ugly head right in front of him. 

A feral cat big enough to eat him several times over decided that he would be the lunch special for today. The ‘meow’ that it let out before it pounced onto Hijikata could roughly be translated to ‘thanks for the meal!’ The Vice Chief ran as fast as his legs could take him and managed to climb onto a crate. Just when he thought salvation was in his grasp, a crow decided to swoop in to steal the cat’s meal ticket. 

Hijikata flailed as he was entrapped in the crow’s feet, making noises that were unbecoming of a Vice Chief. Could this day get any worse?! Whatever deity decided to answer for him by wishing a large gale his way, making the crow drop him 30 meters to the harsh ground below. There seemed to be an iota left of luck on his side as he fell into a cardboard box full of styrofoam peanuts. Hijikata would live to see another day. 

“Did you hear something, Shinpachi-kun?” The red-head representative of the Yorozuya asked. 

“Sounded like a tiny man screaming. Maybe Gin-san has the television on max volume again.” Shinpachi remarked. “Wait, Kagura-chan! Did you open the box to our new merchandising? We were supposed to wait to open it together!” 

“I couldn’t help it! I wanted to see what I looked like as a figure!” The two started bickering as they carried the box with Hijikata in it up the stairs to the Yorozuya main office, otherwise known as that sleazebag’s apartment. 

Hijikata buried himself within the sea of styrofoam peanuts, hoping to not get discovered. Who knows what they would do to him if they found him? He shuddered at the thought of Kagura possibly using him to play fetch with Sadaharu, or even worse, what the perm-head Yorozuya would do once he got his greasy hands on him. 

“Gin-chaaan, wake up! The prototypes for our new line of action figures have arrived!” Kagura yelled as she placed the box onto the coffee table. 

Sakata Gintoki came into the living room, yawning and scratching his stomach. 

“Apparently, you can move the limbs and the figures even come recorded with our catchphrases!” Shinpachi could barely contain his excitement that he finally had merchandise featuring himself.

“Spoken like a true otaku,” Kagura cackled as she fist-bumped Gin for the burn. 

The three rifled through the box and pulled their respective figures. Kagura gushed about hers, saying it captured her feminine beauty so well. Gintoki was less satisfied, stating that his biceps were bigger than this. 

Shinpachi’s face dropped. “How could they forget my glasses? How will people distinguish my figurine from random Citizen #316?!”

“So you agree,” Kagura said in a haughty tone, “that your glasses are your most defining trait.” Shinpachi could only glare at her in defeat. 

The clock struck twelve, interrupting the two. “Kagura-chan, we have a meeting with a client in 30 minutes! We have to go!” The two rushed out the door, but not before Kagura had a chance to throw a dirty look at Gin and warn him not to touch their figurines. 

“Why would I touch yours when I have mine to play with?” Gintoki yelled back, having no shame as someone in his late twenties still playing with dolls. He turned back, noticing that Sadaharu was sniffing at the box. 

“Oh? Is there something still inside?” Gintoki rummaged around the box and felt something, pulling it out of the box. “Would ya look at that? They mixed up some of the Shinsengumi merchandise in here, too. Lucky day for me.” The silver samurai’s eyes were practically gleaming with what one can only describe as mischief. 

As Hijikata Toushiro stared into the dead fish eyes of his bitter rival, he went down his list of options. He could pretend to be a doll and wait til Gintoki got bored of him or he could reveal himself, leaving him in the hands of a worse sadist than Sougo. Yeah, he was going to place his bets on the first option.

“Wow, they got Oogushi-kun’s details down to the V-shaped bangs,” Gintoki remarked as he poked and prodded the Vice Chief. “Did they make his figurine out of a different material than mine? It’s so lifelike and soft…”

Gintoki looked between his figurine and Hijikata’s. The black-haired man suppressed a shudder; he knew that look. An idea had formed in that strawberry milk filled head of his. The white-haired samurai grabbed both the figurines and went to his office, locking the door behind him. 

Gintoki sat at his desk with both of the figures in each hand. 

_“Oh, Gintoki,”_ the Yorozuya boss said in a mocking voice of the Vice Chief, _“you’re so much stronger than me and clearly the strongest samurai in all of Japan.”_

Hijikata was going to barf. He knew that the man had the mental age and IQ of a ten-year-old, but he didn’t know it was this bad. 

“Why don’t I show you the ways of a true samurai,” Gintoki’s lowered his voice in a flirtatious manner. ‘This is getting _so_ weird.’ Hijikata thought but he knew if he held out long enough, the idiot would get bored and forget all about him. He came to regret his decision as Gintoki brought his figurine closer and like a little girl playing Cupid, brought their lips together for a fullon kiss.

Gintoki separated and brought them together multiple times, making disgusting kissing noises. “Muah. Muah. Muah. Oh, Gintoki, you’re such a good kisser.”

_Hijikata wanted to die._ He thought it was time to finally give up his charade of paralysis, but this was arguably an even worse time to give his position away. If he revealed himself now, then _both_ of them would have to live with this mortifying experience for the rest of their life. Hijikata needed to take this secret with him to his grave. 

Gintoki finally stopped shoving his doll into Hijikata’s face when he happened upon a small button, prompting one of his catchphrases. “This is my bushido.” Curious, the man pressed it a couple of more times. 

“Where’s my strawberry milk?” 

“Let’s go to the pachinko parlor today.”

“What kinda defective doll are they tryna sell off here?! I must have cooler lines than this!” Gintoki lamented. Hijikata inwardly rolled his eyes. The toy factory obviously just recorded all the things he said most. Served him right for being such a despicable shounen main character. 

“I wonder if Oogushi-kun has any sayings,” Gintoki’s eyes glinted with mischief as he prodded Hijikata all over his body. His finger massaged the motionless Hijikata’s butt for longer than necessary.

“YOU BASTARD!!” Hijikata could not help but yell in a flit of mad rage. Why would there be a button on his ass?!

_Fuck._ Did he just blow this whole thing?

Gintoki’s eyebrows shot up into his hair. “Wow, that was spot on. Unfortunately, I don’t think a figure with a sailor’s mouth is going to sell well, no matter how much of an ikemen he is.”

“Hmm… I wonder if the rest of him is as pretty as his face.” Hijikata actually blushed, but the intrigue was quickly replaced with horror as Gintoki began stripping Hijikata of his clothes. 

‘Oh no no no no no no no.’

“Why do you have so many layers?” complained Gintoki as his fingers burrowed beneath Hijikata’s uniform. He slipped his jacket off of him and wiggled off the ascot, choking Hijikata a bit in the process. By a miracle in itself, he managed to take off his white button-down without tearing it. Gintoki ran his fingers softly all over Hijikata’s muscled form, raising goosebumps in his wake. When he thumbed the belt, Hijikata knew he’d entered his own personal hell. 

‘Please don’t take off my pants. Please don’t take off my pants. _Please don’t—’_ Hijkata’s black pants came flying off. 

“Wooooow, they even got the mayo-printed boxers right.” Gintoki looked like one of those disgusting otakus right now, panting as he ran his fingers all over Hijikata’s body. The silver samurai couldn’t keep his curiosity at bay any longer. He wanted to see what lied beneath the boxers. It was definitely going to be smooth down there like a Ken doll.

Gintoki pulled down the boxers. 

_“Whoa,”_ the white-haired man let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “is this one of the _special_ editions?” There was definitely something down there. 

“The creator for this figure must have been a real pervert.”

‘YOU’RE THE PERVERT!!’ Hijikata was inwardly dying as Gintoki spread his legs to do a full inspection of his nether regions. The silver samurai was fighting a nosebleed. Gintoki’s large thumb padded against his asshole and Hijikata’s brain short circuited. To have Gintoki’s red eyes explore every part of his body so intensely like this… it made his heart want to burst forth from his chest. 

“Damn, they gave him such a nice, pink hole, too…” Gintoki looked down at the huge tent in his pants. “Maybe… I’ll indulge myself just this once…”

When Hijikata heard the sound of a zipper, he finally knew what was about to happen. But before he could decide his next step, a cold, viscous liquid poured over his whole being. 

‘This can’t be… it’s lube!!’ The scream inside Hijikata’s head must have echoed through the depths of hell. When Hijikata was brought to meet Gintoki’s dick, he was rendered speechless. 

Gintoki’s cock was larger than him! It stood tall and proud as a monument to everything Gintoki was. Hijikata’s small yelp of surprise was muffled when his naked body was shoved against the white-haired samurai’s dick. Gintoki wrapped both hands around his cock and Hijikata’s minimized body and started pumping. 

Whatever sounds Hijikata made in the mortifying ordeal of being used for Gintoki’s masturbation toy were unheard in the wet squelches his body made being rubbed up and down the silver samurai’s dick. Hijikata eventually lost himself in the sensation, inebriated by the scent of Gintoki’s musk. 

When Gintoki came, he brought Hijikata’s small body upwards to catch the ribbons of come shooting out. _So much_ of Gintoki’s semen covered his body from head to toe. Hijikata was unprepared for such an action and didn’t have enough time to close his mouth from surprise. The man inadvertently swallowed a mouthful of Gintoki’s hot, salty seed. 

“Aww, look at that, you’re all dirty,” Gintoki said with no remorse. He brought the exhausted Hijikata closer to his face and relished in the sight of this doll being painted with his seed. “I guess I’ll have to clean you up.” 

Gintoki began licking Hijikata _everywhere._ His tongue flattened as it ran down Hijikata’s torso, wiping up his come and leaving a sticky trail of saliva. The dastardly samurai pointed his tongue when he reached Hijikata’s nether region and showered that area with much more attention than necessary. The tip of his tongue went between Hijikata’s ass, running his tongue between his butt cheeks and up his balls. He pushed the black-haired samurai’s tiny dick around, not even realizing that it had gotten hard. Gintoki’s eyes had closed to focus on the sensation and missed how Hijikata had shoved his hand against his mouth to stop his moans and keep him from being discovered. When Hijikata finally came, his trail of come was lost in the remainder of Gintoki’s semen. 

Gintoki’s ministrations came to an end, satisfied with today’s special masturbatory session. Now if only he could have showered the real Hijikata with this kind of love. His heart tightened at the thought and he placed a kiss onto Hijikata’s doll, his lips covering his entire face. 

“Thanks for all your hard work~” Gintoki said. 

Suddenly, he felt the figure grow a little heavier. “What the—“ he accidentally dropped the doll onto his desk. Did he just hear an ‘ow’? Before his eyes, the doll doubled and then tripled its original size. A full-sized Hijikata lied on his desk. Correct that, a full-sized _naked_ Hijikata sat on his desk. 

Correct that even further, a full-sized, naked Hijikata covered with trails of Gintoki’s saliva and semen sat _angrily_ on his desk. Hijikata’s angry glare could usually bring a lesser man to his knees, but the effect was lessened with the blush blossoming his body and the fact that his dick was out. 

Gintoki’s body chose the worst time to have a nosebleed and pop a boner at the same time. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
